


Somewhere I'm Going

by Neffectual



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Heartwarming, Home, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:43:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5289395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neffectual/pseuds/Neffectual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's waiting on his boys to head home for the holidays, so he can show them just how thankful he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Know This Light

**Author's Note:**

> “At the end of the day, it isn’t where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going and never have been before.”  
> ― Warsan Shire
> 
>  
> 
> For [my pup](http://captainbigdickambrose.tumblr.com/), who just needed to be loved. Here's to you, sweetheart - you deserve all of this and more.

Dean’s never really been one for the holidays, and especially Thanksgiving, when for years he was sure as hell he had nothing to be thankful for, not even the fact that he was alive.

It changed a bit when he met Roman in high school, the football superstar who transferred late in sophomore year and surprised everyone by being incredible on the field, and an actual decent human being. Dean had spent a hell of a lot of a lot of his first two years of high school in the principal’s office, being blamed for another ten things he hadn’t done, and to be cornered by this broad, tattooed kid with the beginnings of a beard coming in, and asked where the library was, was a bit of a shock. So Dean had not only shown Roman where the library was, but where he hid when math was too much, and the window that didn’t lock, which he used to get in when his mom had “friends” over and he wasn’t welcome in the house.

Roman was one of those guys you ended up spilling your life story to, and his placid face in response to what Dean was telling him about made it easy to keep talking. The teachers were surprised to see the star quarterback hanging around with the kid in the battered jeans and hoodie who never had a winter coat and didn’t seem to eat lunch – but they also noticed the changes in Dean once Roman started spending time with him. The uptick in Dean’s grades, the new clothes, the way his frame no longer looked frail with hunger; all down to Roman and his huge family who took to Dean instantly, the moment Roman brought him home.

“Home is where we make it.” Roman said, his hand on Dean’s shoulder as he stared in wonder at the house key he’d been handed, “And we want you to make it here, with us. Whenever you need it.”

Dean hadn’t been able to find words for just how grateful he was, but he knew his stunned silence was accepted as enough.

Seth had arrived at the start of junior year, a scrawny little nerd with a bleached streak in his hair and a smart mouth, who moved like he was always afraid someone was behind him. Dean watched him in class, sketching fantastical buildings and shapes, absent-minded when he should have been paying attention to world history, and was hooked straight away. When he dragged Seth to his table at lunch, the other boy had picked at his food, baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes, and laughed when Dean asked if Seth would draw him.

“I don’t draw people – can’t. Just things, shapes, lines. I like buildings and engineering and the way the world takes shape around us.” Seth said, and ducked his head, bashful at speaking so much about it, “I just like how buildings make sense.”          

When Roman joined them, Seth had frozen, like he was afraid the bigger boy was going to hit him, and seemed surprised when Roman sat down next to him and introduced himself as Dean’s brother, given the obvious skin colour and facial feature disparities between the two. He had, however, cooed over the architectural designs and lines of Roman’s characteristically Samoan tattoo. It only took a few weeks of walking the halls flanked by Roman and Dean before he stopped flinching at shadows, and only a week more before he was sat at the lunch table, tracing Roman’s tattoo with his fingers before trying to copy the intricacy, and drawing the scars on Dean’s shoulders, and sketching out designs of impossible buildings the world could never sustain.

 

Senior year had almost torn them apart, when Dean kissed Seth at some drunken party, completely unaware of Roman behind them, and the way the expression on his face just closed down. He threw himself into football, and they into their new relationship, and the lunch table ended up being Dean and Seth, alone, Seth leaning in to Dean’s body, Dean’s hand on his waist and Seth’s brash laughter echoing through the cafeteria, while Roman sat with the rest of the football team, his arm around a cheerleader, and nothing but anger and hurt in his eyes. Dean blames himself, still, that he never thought Roman could be interested in him, despite just how welcoming he’d been – old habits die hard, and he sometimes still can’t believe that gorgeous, glorious Roman wants him, of all people – because he’d spent his whole life up to that point being told he was worth nothing. Seth made him feel whole, made him feel worthwhile, made him feel wanted, and so for a little while, he didn’t notice his best friend had slipped away from him

Things came to a head when Dean came to school with a black eye, the first in over a year, and Roman caught him slipping out of the teacher’s lounge early, shortly before morning football practice, and just… stared.

“You didn’t have to come here, you know.” Roman said, bitterly, “I’m sure Seth would have let you sleep with him, if you couldn’t face me.”

Truthfully, Dean didn’t know why he hadn’t gone to Roman’s house, as if it would have been the first time Roman’s mom had gone to wake up her son and found the two boys curled together in the big bed, Dean having arrived at some point in the night and found sanctuary in her house, in his friendship with Roman. But something had felt wrong about getting into bed with Roman, and despite him having his own guest room set up there, he’d never used it – he always slept with Roman, and now it felt like he wouldn’t be welcome.

“Didn’t wanna be a bother.” He said, gruffly, turning away, “And Seth’s mom don’t like me over too much. Says I’m a bad influence.”

It was true, too, Seth’s parents taking one look at the scruffy figure in the well-to-do bedroom of their son, and making their decision on the spot, before they even spoke to him. They weren’t bad people, as such, but they had expectations for Seth, expectations that someone like Dean didn’t fit into. He was out of place in Seth’s life.

“Fuck that.” Roman said, and Dean jerked at the curse word, from mister moral compass, who usually warned him about his language, “If they don’t see you as good enough, then they’re not looking properly. If anything, Seth needs to measure up to you.”

Dean had laughed, harsh sound in near-silence, all that self-deprecation pouring back in where Roman had spent two years taking it out, piece by piece, and Dean had watched Roman’s fists clench and thought, ‘this is it, this is where it’s all over’. It still surprises him to this day that Roman had surged forwards and kissed him, pinning him against the lockers, instead of punching him and giving him a black eye to match the one his mom’s dealer had given him.

 

Telling Seth had been another thing altogether, the other boy too pre-occupied with being horrified over the bruise forming on Dean’s face to listen properly, constantly reaching out to touch it, like he could make it go away with just his fingertips and want.

“Are you – did you hear a word I said?” Dean asked, trying not to get angry as Seth’s fingers skated abstract designs into his hip, “I’m tryin’ ta be honest and – “

“You kissed Rome.” Seth said, abruptly, “I don’t know why you expect me to be surprised, he’s wanted to do it for as long as I’ve known you. I figured you guys had got it out of your system by now.”

The idea that Seth had thought he was cheating, thought he couldn’t be faithful, thought he was that sort of scumbag, turned Dean’s stomach, but he couldn’t understand why the other boy wasn’t angry, didn’t want to hit him, didn’t want to take his rage out on a physical target, until Roman slid into the seat next to Seth for the first time in two months, slung his arm around the smaller boy, and kissed the top of his head.

“I kissed him, actually.” Roman said, easily, as if it wasn’t a big deal, “You were right.”

“Right about what?” Dean asked, eyeing the two of them suspiciously as Seth’s hand left his hip and he leant back into Roman’s broad body, sighing happily.

“That he’d love kissing you.” Seth stated, as Roman nuzzled his neck – and Dean felt his heart shatter, because that was too intimate, this was too close, was this all he’d ever been, just a distraction for the two of them, being perfect together. He got up like he was going to run, heartsick, dizzy, his whole body thrumming with adrenaline, “Just like I do.”

Dean sat back down, like all the air had been knocked out of him. The idea of being wanted was already foreign enough, the idea the two people he’d crawled inside and built a home out of, together, wanting him – it didn’t make any sense. It made sense that he wanted both of them, that one wasn’t enough for the greedy, starving child who needed so much to fill him, so much that he couldn’t be happy with simply one person, but they were whole people, good people, and why they would need him was beyond him.

“C’mere.” Roman said, and that was all it took, the three of them curled together like there was no one else in the cafeteria, like no one would stare, or point, or whisper to their friends – no, like nothing would matter, like no one else’s opinion mattered as long as the three of them were together.

 

Dean smiles to himself as he bustles around the little house he has, the one that Roman’s parents decorated and filled with furniture, that Seth’s parents bought, that Dean works to pay off although no one asked him to. It was decided that Roman and Seth would go off to college and Dean would stay behind, working with Mark as the mortician’s apprentice, just like he had for most of senior year, despite having the grades for college. He’s never left Ohio, hell, never left the city aside from one trip to meet Roman’s grandmother, and he wasn’t ready to be in a strange new place without his boys – if he has to be without them, he’ll do it at home. He’s not a holiday sort of person, not really, but he knows how important it is that they’re not expected at Seth’s or Roman’s for this, their first Thanksgiving together, the first time his boys are coming back from college.

He’s been cleaning for two days, between shifts at the morgue, making sure their house is home, making sure everything is perfect, and skyping Seth and Roman every free moment they have between exams and classes.

“Just being home will be enough.” Seth had said, and Dean feels that thrill through him, that this is home, their home, “I just want to be back with both of you.”

“Home is wherever Dean is.” Roman had replied, and if Dean had to blink like he had something in his eyes, well. His boys won’t tell.

They might have been apart for the last three months; Dean feeling the empty bed where he expects two warm bodies, Seth calling at 3am, bloodshot eyes as he croaks that he can’t do this, that class is too hard, Roman calling at noon to say he’s pulled his ACL and won’t be playing for the next two months, like it’s the hardest thing he’s had to say – but they’re a unit, a pack, a family, and nothing will pull them apart. They’re too enmeshed in each other now, filling in their broken and brittle edges with the smooth of someone else, letting their hurt be washed away by love.

Dean hums as he wipes down the kitchen table for the final time, stretching out his back and wondering who’ll arrive first to admire the new bulk he’s put on in the gym, who he’ll get to kiss first, who’ll be in his arms shortly. He heads into the living room and sits himself on the couch to wait. Soon, soon it will feel like home again.


	2. Live on Love and Water

When the doorbell rings, Dean jolts upright, perturbed. His boys have keys, of course, so who the fuck would be ringing the bell? When it rings again, angrily this time, he huffs and heads to the door, speeding up when he sees a familiar silhouette through the glass pane.

“Sethie!” Dean flings the door open and suddenly his arms are full of taut, golden muscle, Seth’s bags abandoned at his feet. Seth’s shorter, so it’s easy to tuck him in against his throat, feeling kisses pressed there by Seth’s eager mouth. He draws back, sooner than he really wants. Seth is – gorgeous. He’s kept his lean frame but added considerable muscle that was hard to gauge on webcam, and he’s refreshed his bleach for the holidays, too. Even in an oversized and ugly woollen sweater, it’s clear how big his arms are getting, and he bulls his hair out of the bun it’s it as Dean stares, the hair falling around his face making him look softer somehow. And then Dean notices the pants.

At home, Seth lives in sweats or basketball shorts, jeans only if he has to leave the house – but on a night out, he pours himself into latex-look pants and knee-high motorcycle boots, and Dean has never wanted to be a piece of clothing so badly in his life. He grabs Seth’s bags and practically drags him into the house and to the kitchen, away from the windows and the view of the neighbours – then drops to his knees.

“Fuck, Dean, already?” Seth says, but he sounds breathless, and as Dean peels down the glorious slut pants, Seth forgoing underwear as usual and lets Seth’s cock spring free for him. He looks up, taking in his lover from this new angle, then flicks his tongue, teasingly, across the head, tasting salt and Seth, who lets out a shuddering breath.

“Romie’s got keys, he can join in when he arrives.” Dean mutters, before diving in, mouth wide and sloppy, the way Seth likes it. His boyfriend moans, one hand at the back of Dean’s neck and the other on his shoulder.

“God, when did you get so big?” Seth groans, squeezing his shoulder muscle, and Dean grins around his mouthful, before swallowing, taking Seth deeper into his throat and feeling Seth’s nails dig in, hard. After a few moments of letting Seth fuck his mouth, he pulls back.

“Been missin’ you, baby.” He coos, and kisses Seth’s jutting hipbone.

“Not sure if you mean me or my dick.” Seth says, wryly, but his eyes are still closed and he hasn’t stopped gripping Dean’s hair, “Think the table can stand up to you fucking me on it?”

 

Seth is beautiful, glorious, perfect as he easily strips out of his clothes and settles himself on the edge of the kitchen table, legs spread. Dean has the lube in the pocket of his jeans – it’s been almost three months since he last saw his boys, so of course he does. He strips himself as quickly as he can, keeping the little bottle in hand, but when he goes to press a finger into Seth, he’s already slick and open. Dean looks at him.

“Figured you wouldn’t want to waste time.” Seth grins, like the cock-hungry slut he is, “Stopped at a gas station a few miles out.”

The image of Seth in a grimy gas station bathroom, pants around his ankles, bent over the sink with his fingers inside him, all so Dean could fuck him as quickly as possible when he got home, makes Dean’s dick jerk, because fuck if that’s not simultaneously the hottest and the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for him.

“God, slut pup, you’re gonna fuckin’ kill me with that.” He groans, and slicks his dick carefully, trying not to overstimulate himself. He pauses, “You take advantage of the deal?”

(The deal. The deal has been insisted upon by Dean, and was absolutely not something Seth or Roman wanted. It stated that while the two of them were away at college, they could fuck anyone they wanted, and they didn’t have to talk about it in any way, save for letting their partners know they would need condoms next time they were together. Roman found it insulting that Dean would think he wanted to sleep with anyone else, whereas Seth found it worse that the deal only extended to the two who were at college, and didn’t cover Dean. In the end, they agreed, because Dean could talk for hours otherwise, and then Roman and Seth took one look at each other and decided there was no way they were going to sleep with anyone who wasn’t Dean, especially when they had webcams and instant messaging, and Seth had a selection of toys so he could be full and moaning for them both on cam, which got Roman going like he couldn’t believe.)

Seth gives him a look of such disdain, Dean worries that for moment, he might become a beetle and have to crawl away.

“Yeah, because I really look like I was fucking other people when I was in on Friday night last week, fucking myself open so you could watch, while you and Ro got yourselves off for me.”

Dean grins at the memory, but his face falls pretty quickly.

“The deal was there to be used, I’m not gonna be mad if you did.”

Seth stops sitting in the most wanton pose he can manage, and pulls Dean in close, kissing him hard.

“Dean, we love you. We’re not going to fuck other people when we know you’re waiting at home for us. Also, do you think I would have let you suck me of if I thought for a second that I could have caught something off someone? You know what I’m like. Neither of us is going to cheat on you.”

Dean shrugs.

“S’not cheating, I said you could. And you might not, but Romie might.” He says, and fuck, he doesn’t want to be like this, but he’s never going to think he’s good enough for the two gorgeous men in his life, “You don’t know.”

Seth laughs, and goes back to lounging, legs spread like an invitation, just showing off how flexible he is.

“Rome would take to casual sex like I’d take to mud-wrestling,” he scoffs, and slides his hand along Dean’s hip, “Now please, fuck me, I feel like it’s been far too long.”

Pressing into Seth feels like coming home, so tight around him, so hot and slick, and Dean just wants to hold still forever so he can brand this fucking feeling into his soul, into the next month, until Seth and Roman are back for Christmas and he gets them for longer than a weekend. Any excuse to hold onto them for a little long, to keep his family here and his and right where they should be, but Seth is digging his heels in and whimpering, and Dean’s powerless but to give him what he needs.

 

When Dean first spots Roman, he’s just delivered a particularly hard thrust to Seth, who’s moaning and scratching at the table like a cat in heat, and Dean’s eyes fly open to the sound of a throat being cleared.

“I don’t mean to interrupt.” Roman says, but he’s got that big, infectious grin spreading across his face, and Dean can see he’s half-hard at least, just from looking at the two of them, “But I was supposed to meet my boyfriends here.”

Seth open his eyes and grins at Dean, who rocks his hips a little until the glassy look is back in those sweet brown eyes, before he smirks at Roman.

“Well, don’t just stand there like a spare prick.”

Roman undresses outside of his eye line, and Dean almost curses him for that, but he’s behind him soon enough, running cold hands over Dean’s hips and making him jump.

“Sorry, weather’s a bitch.” Roman’s voice rumbles, and then his body is pressed against Dean, all heat and muscle and –

“Have you got even more bulk while you’ve been out?” Dean’s voice is accusing, but there’s a note of teasing in it, too, “Gonna use that to hold the slut puppy up against the wall later, and fuck his brains out?”

Roman’s fingers part his cheeks, and slide down, toying with his rim, before they’re gone, and Roman’s grabbing the lube off the table.

“Not nice to call him that.” Roman says, stroking a hand down Seth’s trembling thigh.

“Fingered himself open in a fucking bathroom for me, Romie, he’s a slut pup.” Dean retorts, and feels Roman’s laugh against his back.

The feel of Roman’s fingers against him makes his push deeper into Seth, who lets out the sort of keening cry normally only heard in animal mating documentaries, but Dean’s laugh is cut off when Roman twists his hand in just the right way and bites into his neck, which is always a weak spot.

“Gonna get in me or not, old man?” he teases, when he can speak again, and Seth’s not the only one who makes a high-pitched noise at the hand which slaps his ass, swift and hard, leaving behind a pink print.

“Patience, boy.” Roman growls, and Dean can’t remember the last time he felt this content.


	3. out with a bang

One of the first things Dean had commented on when they had first started sleeping together had been the sheer size of Roman’s dick. Dean wasn’t inconsiderable himself, but with Roman, it wasn’t length, which was little more than average, but that he had the sort of girth normally featured in those ‘you won’t believe it’ type of porn cover shots. Roman had been pretty shy about it to start with, and worried no one would want him to fuck them, but Seth had always taken to challenges like a duck to water, and had simply said something about his barely measuring up to some of his toys. But Dean… Dean wanted so much to take that monster of a cock that he spent weeks repeatedly opening himself up so he would be able to be what Roman needed.

So when Roman presses in, Dean doesn’t want to make the noise that he does, but fuck it, three months without this has been too long, and he hasn’t been playing with the toys Seth left, mostly just content to jerk it to his boys coming undone for him. Roman feels huge inside him, almost too big, the burn making him wince and pause in his strokes into Seth. And then it occurs to him, the same question he gave to Seth.

“Bare?” he asks, though he knows the answer, knows what Roman feels like through a thin layer of latex and this is so much better, “You didn’t – “

“Got everything I want right here,” Roman says, voice rumbling through Dean, “I ain’t been cheatin’ on my boys.”

“It wouldn’t be – “ Dean starts, and he sees Seth roll his eyes, and feels Roman sigh, but instead of saying anything, Roman rocks his hips, pushing Dean deeper into Seth and making both of them groan.

“Yeah, you quit your yappin’ like that.” Roman says, sounding far too pleased with himself, and Dean will do something about that just as soon as he can cope with the slow, incremental thrusts Roman’s making, how they’re screwing him deep into Seth, how he feels skewered between the two of them. Roman still feels overwhelmingly big inside him, and Seth’s so tight and hot; he doesn’t know how he used to do this night after night, and wonders if he ever got over how good it is.

“Used to like my smart mouth.” Dean hisses, and finally moves back against Roman, giving the bigger man permission to start moving in earnest, “Thinkin’ you could put yours to better use right now.”

When Roman hums non-committedly, Dean leans forward, which jostles Roman a little, but puts him at the perfect height to flick his tongue over Seth’s pierced nipples, and makes it easy for Dean to dig his hands into that fluffy hair and tug, listen to Seth hiss then mellow out, like the slut he is. He’s pulled back by Roman’s hand at the back of his neck, and then Roman’s biting at his neck, savage and vicious, in contrast to the slow roll of his hips. Roman loves to leave marks all over them, the trails his hands over the bruises later and apologise, as if he doesn’t know how much they love it. Dean feels dizzy between his boys, like the whole world is just touch and pleasure and sensation, and Roman’s teeth in his throat cut through all that, make it clear and crisp.

“Missed you.” Seth says, breathless and high, “Missed this, wanted you both so much, wanted to come home and quit, just come home and get fucked.”

“Slut pup.” Dean says fondly, toying with the head of Seth’s dick, rubbing his thumb over the wet slit to hear Seth moan for him as Roman stops biting and turns to sucking instead, “At least you had toys – “

The last word is a groan as Roman’s fingers slide down his hip and find where he’s joined with Seth, sliding his fingers along Seth’s rim and just stroking for a moment. Dean shivers with it, pushing harder into Seth and hearing his breath forced out of him, a puff of sound which shouldn’t be so loud against the pounding of Dean’s heart, but he’s always been so attuned to his boys, always known his place between them. This is home, this is family, this is the closest he’s ever felt to another human being, and he gets to have two of them, wound so close that he couldn’t untangle their edges even if he wanted to. He doesn’t, though. It feels so good to finally be a part of something.

Roman’s hand eventually moves back to his hip, and Dean feels like he can breathe again, Roman’s pace quickening as his breath warms Dean’s neck.

“You sound pretty – ah, fuck, yes – pretty close there, Ro, you gonna blow before us?” He coos, mocking Roman even as he clenches and then drives harder into Seth, “We’ve been goin’ for longer, but you just can’t resist us, can you, never seen anythin’ better than this.”

“He going to fill you up?” Seth asks, panting through it, “Think we can get him to come first?”

That’s all Roman can take, it seems, because a few more jerky, stuttering thrusts and he’s shuddering against Dean’s shoulder, biting down, sending pulse after pulse through him and slumping onto him for a moment. Dean groans as Roman pulls out, feeling empty, open, dripping, then anew as Roman slips two fingers back into him, easy, fucking him like sloppy seconds and unerringly hitting his prostate.

“Oh, fuck, Ro, that’s it, fuck yeah.” He’s almost non-verbal with it, how good it feels, how strong Roman’s fingers feel inside him but he still feels empty around them, how hot and slick Seth feels surrounding him, how having his boys with him is everyone he’s wanted for months now, and how they’re finally back with him. His hips start to stutter, and Seth moans, long and low, as Dean gets a hand on him, slipping a thumb over the wetness where his cock’s been leaking onto his belly, needy but silent, just like Seth, “That’s a good slut pup, too, huh, bein’ so good for me.”

When he comes, it’s like an express, like a burning, searing heat funnelling through his veins, like his fingers and toes go numb and his head if full of sparkles, and Seth goes over with him, the two of them panting in unison as Roman nips at an ass cheek and forces an aftershock almost as good as the original orgasm. He collapses onto Seth, hears the creak of the table, and feels Roman’s fingers slip out of him, but Ro’s got an arm around him, and they’re just all these together, and if he was an emotional kinda guy, it might make him tear up a little.

 

Untangling tired bodies and getting clean had been part one, part two being Dean opening the fridge and revealing turkey sandwiches – not the shitty kind, but deli meat, good turkey, cut off an actual bird – that he’d made earlier in the day. He knows it’s a shitty excuse for the thanksgiving dinner they could have had at Roman’s parents’ house, but he also knows his boys won’t mind. It’s enough that he made the effort, and Seth laughs when he sees the rolls, surprised and happy, not mocking, and they eat in bed, crumbs on the sheets and each other.

“How long until winter break?” Dean asks, unwillingly drawn to the question, just so he knows how long he’s going to be alone again. The bed feels right with all three of them in it, not like it does when he sleeps alone and has to bolster his body with pillows on either side, “Not sure I can do three months without you again.”

“I’m not lasting three months.” Seth agrees, and Dean spares him a grateful glance, “We need to arrange to see each other on weekend or some shit, even if we go see one of Ro’s games and then all pile into his room.”

“Got that private room for a reason.” Roman says, nodding, “Wasn’t for lying there alone missin’ my boys.”

Dean pulls up his work schedule on his phone to see when he’s got a weekend free – you’d be amazed how many people need funeral prep over those two days – and spots one in the first week of December.

“Yeah,” he says, slowly, finishing the last of his sandwich and licking his fingers thoughtfully, “Yeah, we can do that. We can make it work.”

They can, he realises. He thought he was going to end up with two boyfriends who didn’t want to come back to him, or who fucked other people, he’s always thought he’s not good enough to keep them. Three months apart has proved that even if he still thinks it’s true, they don’t – and that’s all that matters. Settling down for nap, with Seth on one side and Roman on the other, Dean’s last, drowsy thought is that now, finally, he has something to be thankful for.


End file.
